I'm getting extremely impatient now. I'm sick at looking at this face. I hate everything about it. I constantly tell myself stop being so negative but I'm actually regretting this surgery. I then wake up and tell myself to shut up. I told myself before the surgery that whatever the outcome certainly will be better than my gross gummy smile. That part I do not regret. I love my teeth. I may not have perfect pearly big teeth but I have a normal smile. And I'm so happy about that. It's just the rest of my face that bothers me. My nose, my upper lip, and my face shape. I have ugly jowls which I'm telling myself is the swelling. When I feel my face that part does feel puffy but I'm convinced that I'm going to have these jowls. I just think by 3 weeks I shouldn't have those. I know swelling takes time to go away even up to 6 months but when I look in the mirror I just see an oblong face shape compared to my heart shape I used to have.
I had my 3wk post op appt and showed my doc my rash sin makeup. He was in shock but said he doesn't understand where that would come from. He says it is not acne nor is it an allergy. He said its more like dermatitis. He asked me if I used any new lotions or soaps and I said no. I told him the only new thing i used on my face that I've never used before was that arnica gel. But I told him I used it the first week after surgery and I only used it about 3x total. Which is nothing because it says to apply 3x a day every day. I asked can it be a reaction to the metal in my face and he said I don't think so. I will see him at my 6 week post op. so well see if it gets better. Fingers crossed.
There are 2 different kinds of torture with this surgery. 1st week of surgery which at least goes quickly. And then there's this slow kind of torture where you just want it to be over!!! I want my old life again. I wanna eat and chew everything! I wanna sleep all night! I want my energy back! My skin back!
I just want to get to that point where other fellow bloggers post things like.. "wow this is the best decision I ever made!" or " I can eat pretty much everything again!" or "I have 95% feeling in my gums now"
Oh when oh when will it get to that point!?