Tuesday, November 20, 2012

12 weeks!!!!!!

FIRST IDK WHY THE DATE SHOWS NOV 20 FOR THIS POST!? ITS DEC 13 2012. WEIRD. anyways......

Hey everyone! Sorry for disappearing and not posting as much lately. I've been kind of busy and i guess im at that point when i dont think about my jaw 24/7. I still think about it a lot though, especially when eating, or like yawning n such. My swelling might be almost gone. i think i have about 10% left. i can tell because my pores seem tight if that makes sense. not to be gross but i can tell my cheeks are still swollen because its impossible to release blackheads. Eww I know but it's not as bad compared to before...talking about bloody noses or nose diving with qtips lol. I added a picture which shows Me laughing naturally. I love it. It's kinda ugly but it's my first pic with a natural big ol laugh after surgery. I still have gums as u can see but much much less than my before pic under it. My nose is looking better. Still one nostril bigger than the other n Still wide but not so bad. I still can't open my mouth fully but for my 10 wk post op appt, my doc said it was pretty good. N its gotten bigger so far. He said I don't have to go back till after braces are off. My left side of my jaw now slightly clicks where as it never did before. Preop it was my right side. I feel like my teeth don't fit right now in my left and could be the cause of it. Idk. My orthodontist seems to not care anymore at this point. I mean I don't wanna say that. It's just he ALWAYS tells me it's fine And that my teeth are in the right position.

My face still has those jowls which kinda makes my face look extremely narrow. But everyone keeps telling me "wow u don't have a long face anymore!" So I get confused. Maybe it's how I take photos. Maybe in real life it's not that bad. My lips are definitely asymmetrical. One side is much fuller. Two ppl already pointed it out so I know I'm not over exaggerating. I guess all these things I don't like is a trade off for the things I do like. I always say I've been wishing to laugh and well..now I can. I finally can. So it's all worth it. I LOVE smiling and laughing and talking without worrying about how crazy I look. I still catch myself saying in my head" calm down on ur laughing! Your gums! Your gums!" But then I remember HA! Thats all gone! Now I can laughhhhh!! BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD!

Idk if I ever gave out my email but if anyone has questions or just wants to chat..it's shadi1202@yahoo.com.


I probably won't post until my braces are finally off!
















Thursday, November 1, 2012

6 weeks!

I had my 6 wk post op appt yesterday and guess what????? I got the OK to chew!! yayyyyy!! So I went home got some carrots and apples and crunched away!!


OK I'm kidding obviously. Haha, u guys are probably like... what! Are u crazyyyyy?

No he said I can chew most foods that you’re typically aloud and not aloud to eat with braces i.e. no hard sticky crunchy foods. He said no jolly ranchers (obviously) and nothing like bagels n such. He did say I can eat stuff like chicken :) Oh meat, how I've missed u. well I'm not gonna lie. I've eaten some meats like ground beef in stuff like pasta which is easy to eat, but I've tried to eat chicken and pot roast before, but it was too hard. I would end up swallowing it which not only was that dangerous but not very enjoyable.
I've been missing the carnivore in me. Like actually chewing the meat. So I ate some stewed lamb yesterday (very soft) and I tried actually chewing it. It was so difficult for me. Not just physically, but mentally.
Physically, it was hard because my jaws or jaw muscles are very, very weak right now and the fact that I'm not used to eating with the new bite I have. I'm not used to chewing and having all my teeth touch. It’s a weird feeling. The mental part of it, is that I'm so scared. I'm afraid to be aggressive while chewing because I keep thinking I don't wanna break anything or loosen anything. My surgeon did say that I'm pretty much healed like a broken bone after being in a cast for a while. But that got me confused. I thought it takes many months and even up to a year for bone to heal? Idk but he assured me not to worry and chew food like a regular person but not go crazy. He said wait another month before actually eating whatever I want like steak (and I'm guessing apples and carrots? lol)

I told him about the snap I felt behind my nose the other day from laughing too hard. He looked in my nose and just said not to worry about it. Ummm OK. I guess. Maybe it’s something that is not dangerous. He said I would worry about it if it was like day 2 after surgery. My personal feeling was it was a stitch, because my nose seems more wider on that side.

Swelling wise he said I am still pretty swollen. He estimated that I still have about 40% of swelling left. Wow that's like almost half :( geezz!!
He told me by 16 weeks I should be almost back to my old self! Yikes! All this time I'm thinking 8 weeks. He said even by 4 months I should still have about 20% of residual swelling until 6 months. Then it most likely should be gone…

I'm officially off rubber bands. I went to my OD afterwards and he switched my old wires with the hooks for fresh ones. No more hooks!!! :) No actually I should remove that smile. I have a loose band in the back and a broken bracket on my front crown that still need to be fixed. My mouth cant open wide enough to start anything. But, are you ready for the exact words my OD used next... "I'm not going to use the ceramic bracket on the crown again. I'm going to either BAND it:( then add it on or add a metal bracket because I don't wanna keep FARTING around".. Lol, the little girl in me couldn't help to giggle…

But yeah when I go back in 2 weeks, im going to have one ugly looking tooth for the time being. It’s true we shouldn't keep farting around it. Lol. That crown has been giving us trouble so we don't want the bracket to pop off again so we can hurry up and finish! He told me we should be done with braces in a few visits.....here's hopin!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Before/after pics of my gummy smile

I honestly cried when I looked at these 2 pictures. It's over. Those days with that hideous smile that plagued me my whole life are finally over.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Day 39

My swelling is finally getting better. I'm still swollen and still have these ugly jowls but I think it got a little better. I've been taking arnica dissolvable tablets and bromelain for about 4 days now and I think it really does help. Especially with stiffness. Annnd my lips are still asymmetrical. Booo

Last night I went out with my friends and boy did it feel good! We went to a "fancy/chic" restaurant downtown. I will never go back because the prices were ridiculous!! I paid $100 just for myself for some tiny ass gourmet food!! I couldn't even eat the "complimentary" bread:((.
I had crab bisque, crab legs which were pre cracked and soaking in butter which I'm glad I asked for them to crack it for us. It made the meat soo soft! What else did i order?? Oh and I also had a drink...for $100!!! I think I'm never going to get over it. I can be a cheapskate sometimes lol. But it was a fun night! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time and I really needed it. Of course something jaw related has to interfere during good times. There was a moment where I laughed sooo hard that I literally felt a snap right behind the bottom of my nose. I guess where my nostril is. Then my nose kinda felt loose for a second. It felt like if you snap apart a rubber band? I was like OMG! I don't know what that was.I don't think it's a stitch right? Shouldn't they be dissolved by now? I don't feel any pain so idk. I'm going to ask my doc at my 6 wk post op appt this Wednesday.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

4weeks!

I can't believe it's been a month already. How fast time flies. Ok kinda..There were days that felt like forever. But still it's like I keep thinkin I had surgery just the other day.

My swelling seems to be staying exactly the same since day 14 or somthin. I don't see a difference at all. My doc said I'm not gonna notice anything cuz its gonna be subtle from now on. I also have UNEVEN swelling. My left side (your right) is not so bad but my right side (your left) looks like I got stung by a bee. I was never worried about the unevenness till my family all commented that one side is much bigger than the other.

Another thing I've brought up before in my posts are these damn jowls I now have. I don't see any other bloggers or pictures/videos online with ppl having Jowls after 1 month. Usually just the first week and then it slowly decreases. Mines still there causing me to think that this is permanent.

I have 100% numbness in the roof of my mouth and gums. Except for my right half of my lower gums. I have full feeling there since day 1. My cheeks are not really numb but there are some parts on my cheeks that are only like 5% numb which I do not notice at all. My lower left side of my chin and lip are still completely numb. I sometimes feel tingly sensation or pins and needles. But not all the time. It mostly feels extremely tight...and even painful at times. I can kinda feel when I touch there but I'm not sure if it's the pressure I'm feeling or the actual touch. I really hope my chin gets better because that's causing me to talk crooked. I also think my awkward speech is caused by the fact that I don't know how to use these new chompers. I'm so used to my overbite that I used to have to pronounce words and letters by moving my jaw, tongue and lips certain ways. So I'm thinking i might need some speech therapy later on. Hopefully not and it will just get better with time. My biggest challenge is the letter F for some reason. It's extremely hard for me to say words with F in it. What the fark!! See I told u lol

Monday, October 15, 2012

26 days post op

Say ahhhhhhh!!!

This is as big as I can open my mouth so far. Not bad I think. I dont know how to measure. Ill use food. Lol. Im gonna say smaller than a snickers bar. (as if i can bite into that...tear*) but I can definitely fit a spoon. That's because I ditched those baby spoons from day one. Well kinda. The first couple of days after i was debanded I was aloud to eat stuff like mashed potatoes and applesauce and stuff so I had to use them little things. Then I noticed after a half hour of trying to eat, I would technically have eaten a regular spoonful of food. Nu uh. I picked up an adult spoon and tried to eat however I could. Finally I was getting full(er). Not full. Never full. Lol.

It's weird looking in my mouth. I can no longer see the back of my throat. It's crazy. Even if I say ahhh u can't see down there. My throat is so far down that I think only a doctor with a light can see it. The reason why is because when my jaws moved up obviously my throat stayed the same place so it's just starts lower than usual now. It's kinda hard to explain.

It's kinda gross seeing the wrinkly new gums I have behind my lower arch. (where wisdom teeth would be) it used to be such a small space there. No wonder why my wisdom teeth were impacted back when I was 15. There was no room for them. Bet there woulda been room for them now.

As you can see my face is still asymmetrical not due to the swelling I have. You can see it in my teeth. They both slant lower on one side.

Well anyhoo can't wait when I can open my mouth big enough to bite into a burger. (daydreaming and drooling).


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

3 weeks post op

I'm getting extremely impatient now. I'm sick at looking at this face. I hate everything about it. I constantly tell myself stop being so negative but I'm actually regretting this surgery. I then wake up and tell myself to shut up. I told myself before the surgery that whatever the outcome certainly will be better than my gross gummy smile. That part I do not regret. I love my teeth. I may not have perfect pearly big teeth but I have a normal smile. And I'm so happy about that. It's just the rest of my face that bothers me. My nose, my upper lip, and my face shape. I have ugly jowls which I'm telling myself is the swelling. When I feel my face that part does feel puffy but I'm convinced that I'm going to have these jowls. I just think by 3 weeks I shouldn't have those. I know swelling takes time to go away even up to 6 months but when I look in the mirror I just see an oblong face shape compared to my heart shape I used to have.

I had my 3wk post op appt and showed my doc my rash sin makeup. He was in shock but said he doesn't understand where that would come from. He says it is not acne nor is it an allergy. He said its more like dermatitis. He asked me if I used any new lotions or soaps and I said no. I told him the only new thing i used on my face that I've never used before was that arnica gel. But I told him I used it the first week after surgery and I only used it about 3x total. Which is nothing because it says to apply 3x a day every day. I asked can it be a reaction to the metal in my face and he said I don't think so. I will see him at my 6 week post op. so well see if it gets better. Fingers crossed.

There are 2 different kinds of torture with this surgery. 1st week of surgery which at least goes quickly. And then there's this slow kind of torture where you just want it to be over!!! I want my old life again. I wanna eat and chew everything! I wanna sleep all night! I want my energy back! My skin back!

I just want to get to that point where other fellow bloggers post things like.. "wow this is the best decision I ever made!" or " I can eat pretty much everything again!" or "I have 95% feeling in my gums now"

Oh when oh when will it get to that point!?

Monday, October 8, 2012

Day 19/ change in nose

My nose has definitely changed. I thought it only turned up a tiny bit but it's a lot more than that. It's a lot wider and chubbier n piggier. I don't like it in pictures because u can totally see up my nose. And for some reason I look like I always have a booger in one of them. Then I check and nothin lol. Idk. It's buggin me how much things change in your face with this surgery. Maybe when the swelling goes away my nose can kinda go back to normal

The top pic is after surgery
The bottom is before surgery

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Day 18/ I have now developed a rash

I have a rash all over my face except my forehead. Basically where the surgery all took place. I don't know if it is a side effect from taking Vicodin or an allergic reaction from the metal hardware.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Could this be an abscess?

I have a small red spot on the roof of my mouth. It feels very tender but I don't feel hardly any pain. I'm wondering If it is the start of an abscess. Is an abscess an infection or something? I've read infections can be a sign of your body rejecting the new metal. I wonder how do you know if theres a problem with hardware or bones healing? I'm so worried. I have an appt on Tuesday which I will definitely bring up but I'm so scared and 3 days is a long time to think.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Day 16 / eating in public for the 1st time

Today I went to a restaurant. Boy was that awkward. I couldn't eat my salad of course which was sad for me cuz i love salad so much. I ordered anything that was soft enough to eat. I had baked tilapia and some Alfredo pasta. I also had some soft biscuits and a baked potato. I had to keep asking my hubs if I had anything on my lips and chin cuz I can't feel if anything is there. I felt like ppl were staring at me because I was eating like a child. Each time I took a (small) bite of something I had to wipe my mouth cuz food would be all over my face.

I don't enjoy food as much as before because the roof of my mouth is so numb so I don't get to fully taste my food. Hopefully feeling will come back in there because that would suck eating like that for the rest of my life. I wonder how long it takes.

I hated how ppl would stare at my swollen face. It's like dude, maybe I just had my wisdom teeth taken out or somthin. Why the hell do they stare as if I got a second head sticking out of my neck? So sad how ppl are quick to judge by appearances.

Later I had ice cream which was much easier to eat. The problem is half of my bottom lip is numb that the cold temperature burns it. It's such a weird feeling. It starts stinging. I don't know if that's a good thing cuz at least I feel something. But if I touch it or poke it...nothin.

I can't wait till my mouth works properly again. I'm a big food person and eating is basically my life. Not being able to enjoy food is really messin with my head. But.. this is expected. Eventually things will go back to normal.

At least it was nice just to get out again and do normal things.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

2 weeks post op!

Wow I can't believe it's been 2 weeks already! I feel like surgery day was just a few days ago. Time was moving sooo slow in the beginning and it seems to fly by now.

I'm eating better. Too much of you ask me. At first I lost 8 lbs in 1wk. But then somehow I already gained 5 back!! So technically I only lost 3 lbs this whole time! So much for me worrying about losing 20-30 lbs like I thought I was going to. I even bulked up some weight before surgery (about 7lbs) in case I lose too much. I think it's because all I eat is carbs. Pastas, mashed potatoes, A lot of ramen noodles, peanut butter n jelly sandwiches, a lot of desserts..etc. not really low calories. Oh well

My smile is emerging and I'm so happy about that. My doc said it'll be a while before I can smile and I'm proving to him and everyone that it wont be long. The reason is I do my own mini exercises. Nothing major that will interfere with healing but little things like practicing smiling like ALL DAY. Or I do little ooohs and eeehs. I notice that helps a lot.

My smile is getting bigger n bigger everyday . I'm going to still have a gummy smile in the end because of the size of my teeth and until I see gum then I'll be close. I can see some gum in this pic and it makes me so happy. My husband thinks I'm nuts. He says I thought you hated your gums. I'm like I did but it's just still a part of me. I cant explain it. I want to have my gummy smile but not that extreme.

I felt a lil depressed yesterday because at times when I glance in the mirror, I don't recognize myself. I actually teared up and missed the old me. I told myself I look exactly the same. The only thing throwing me off was my swelling and my smile. But I was like what's wrong with me? Why would I miss something that I feel was such a bad part of my life? My sister explained it best. She said its like moving from your old messed up uncomfortable home to a new house. No matter what you'll always miss it. Just saying goodbye is the hardest part. Well I guess I'm still in the process of moving and once I move into my new beautiful home I will love it!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Asymmetrical lips

Has anybody had any issues with their lips after jaw surgery? My upper lip is now crooked. One side of my lip is now noticeably thinner than the other side. I keep thinking that it must still be swollen on that side but I remember right when I got out of surgery my husband took a pic of me and I noticed my lips right away before the swelling started.

It's causing half my mouth to close at rest and the thinner side to stay a lil open. It looks weird and I'm telling myself to wait till 8 wk mark to judge. It's really bugging me. It's causing my face to look even more asymmetrical. I didn't expect my lips to change and even if they did I wouldn't of cared if the evenly got smaller or fuller but not crooked. I've tried to look online and it's mostly ppl with swelling issues but not really any asymmetry AFTER surgery.


The 3rd one down are my lips before surgery

Day 13

I Opened my fridge and seen these plump juicy crunchy lookin grapes and omg did I want one! I decided to slice them as thin as I can thinking maybeee I can get a little of that crisp in. I also had these nice strawberries staring at me. The plate does not look very appetizing anymore after its all sliced but I didn't care lol. Turns out I was unsuccessful with the grapes:( the strawberries on the other hand were soft enough and had enough texture. Yeah I coulda just puréed them but I don't want any smoothies or baby food today! Oh well. At least I downed ONE strawberry. Smh.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Day 12

I went to see my surgeon and ortho today. They were amazed of the minor swelling I had. They said patients 12 days post op are still pretty swollen. They said I am very swollen because I have no creases in my face but it's not bad at all. And they were also surprised by the lack of bruising. I told my doc about my uvula and how it seems long and he did indeed say that it was because my jaws are both positioned higher up is what is causing my uvula to be hanging lower than normal. I hate it though. It just feels like something is always stuck in my throat like a piece of food. I need to do something about it but he just said be patient and just stop worrying about everything and let your body heal.

When I passed by my ortho he said that he's very impressed with the surgeons work. He said my bite is almost in perfect position and he's happy about that because I'm not gonna need a lot of ortho work post op. he said he thinks my braces can come off anywhere from 2-4 months. Yippieeeeee!!! Amazing news so far! I'm gonna say 2 months in my head cuz that sounds better lol;)

I can't imagine having my braces off in what?? December???? Wow! I cannot wait!!!!

On a side note there's something I forgot to bring up to them. When my mouth is at rest you only see my my bottom teeth. That's so weird. At first glance you'd think it looks like a under bite. I hate it. I'm forcing my mouth to keep closed because it looks so weird. I guess I didn't bring it up because I brought up so many minor lil things he just kept on telling me not to over analyze everything. But this to me is major. I don't like it at all.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Friday, September 28, 2012

Day 9

Im feeling a lil better today. I think its because ive been eating a bit better. Like so far today I hard boiled 2 small eggs. Mashed it up, put some olive oil and salt n pepper and ate it. (a simple Palestinian middle eastern recipe if you would like to try btw) then I made a peanut butter sandwich on 1slice of white bread and ate most of that with some apple juice. I can't really chew so I mash it up with my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I'm trying to get some texture in my food cuz these boost drinks and juice drinks are getting old. So I guess the fact I'm eating some things I used to eat makes me feel better. Now onto steaks. Lol. Ya right. I wonder how long it will take to actually eat things like steak comfortably.

I'm still having a lot of pain at night. The scariest thing is my whole face and head gets numb. Yes my whole head. It's like when your arm falls asleep but my whole head. I take vicodin at night just to dope up and fall asleep. It doesn't help with numbness. I hope that'll go away because I don't think I can live the rest of my life like that. I have a couple questions though..

When does that cotton in your cheeks feeling go away?

Does anybody have a problem with their uvula? That's that hangy ball thing in the back of the throat. I think it feels swollen. Like I'm almost swallowing it. It kinda sits on my tongue. I'm worried it's because my jaws were moved up that now it reaches it.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Something's wrong/ day 8

I woke up feeling terrible today. But with all the support on here and everything I've decided I need to stick it out. I need to remind my self I may have too many downs but at least I get a couple ups. Where I never had one up at all so that's a sign of improvement. But of course the minute I get somewhat optimistic this happens. My bite is off today. I really hope this isn't a relapse. Maybe it's cuz the of the swelling locations? I'm kinda freaking out.